Two Best Men. Two Weddings. Two Speeches. One Bombed. One Killed.
On a beautiful late Saturday afternoon in August of 2016, two young men attended two different weddings.
They weren't just any ordinary guests. They were the Best Men.
Both had graduated college a few years ago. Both were in their mid 20s. Both had pretty decent jobs. Both had found love (one was already married, the other was engaged).
And both had no experience giving a wedding toast. Sure, Matt spoke at his own wedding a few months before, but let's be honest, everyone loves you that day, so it's not like the guests were ready to hurl tomatoes at him.
Needless to say, Matt and Chris were both very nervous about this. Not doing a speech wasn't an option... they couldn't let the groom down on his big day after all.
But there was one difference.
One of the young man's (Matt) Best Man speech didn't go that well.
His speech was boring.
It was long winded.
It was the typical "I'm so happy for you and so honored to be here" speech that everyone's heard a million times before.
Matt bored the guests so much, in fact, that you could hear the cars pass on the road outside of the reception hall when he paused between sentences. By the end of the speech, almost all the guests had their phones out to distract themselves from falling asleep.
One of the bridesmaid even joked with another bridesmaid, "is this a wedding or a funeral?"
Now, while Matt's speech didn't go to well, Chris was just as nervous in the days leading up to his.
"I'm so screwed," Chris thought to himself. "The wedding's in three days."
Although he was honored to be the Best Man (Jason was his only brother after all), he was secretly hoping Jason would have picked someone else.
Well, being the Best Man means you have to make a speech. Chris did not want to give a speech.
He'd never really spoke in public before. The thought of standing alone in front of 100 people made him want to barf.
And to top it off, Chris knew he wasn't really that funny of a person. Sure, he and Jason had tons of funny stories over the years, but a lot of these stories were either inappropriate to tell or were inside jokes that were funny to them, but probably not to a room full of 100 guests.
Because he was nervous about writing and giving his speech, Chris didn't even want to think about the speech and held off writing it until only a few days before.
Ooops. Big mistake.
Now he was really screwed.
Or was he?
"Fast Foward To The Day Of The Wedding"
Fast forward to the day of the wedding...
The wedding ceremony happened. Jason and Rachel exchanged their wedding vows and rings.
Then was time for pictures.
Chris was nervous as the reception drew near. So nervous in fact, that his hands were shaking so much he though he'd drop the microphone.
So nervous that he wasn't even hungry and didn't eat much at the reception.
This was his brother Jason's big day. He didn't want to screw it up.
The pressure was getting to him.
"I'd like to call up the The Best Man Chris," said the MC.
It was now go time.
The MC handed Chris the microphone...
Chris delivered the first line of the speech:
"Hi all. As you might be able to tell, I'm very nervous. Jason, if I screw this speech up, I can always retry another speech at your next wedding."
(the guests erupt into laugher)
Chris continued: "I'm so honored and glad to be here, although I'm a little surprised. If you had told me two years ago that Matthew would spend $40,000 in one day, I would have said you're crazy."
(Jason and Rachel are leaning over howling)
"That's right. As many of you know, Matthew is very cheap. He actually went to a Republican Rally the other day, not because he's into politics, but because he wanted to see if Donald Trump could get Mexico to pay for the wedding."
(the crowd is now laughing hysterically, looking at eachother, thinking "Who is this guy? I didn't know Chris was THIS funny")
Chris' nervousness went away. He was kind of having fun now. He continued: "I don't know when Jason was more disappointed - when I beat him in poker at the Bachelor party, or when he told me today would include an open bar."
(now, Chris sees the guests are liking his speech so far, and he forgets he was ever nervous about giving this speech. "This is actually kind of fun," he thinks to himself)
"So, just to bug Jason, let's all drink up! But not too much, or he might send you an invoice. It might include a thank you card that says: 'thanks for the salad spinner, but you still owe me 40 bucks.'"
(the guests are now howling)
Chris continuted: "So, why is Jason so cheap? That's a really good question. Is it because our dad Harry is? Or, is it because we're part Scottish?"
(laughing, the guests look over their father Harry)
"And speaking of Scottish, I'm glad you're not wearing a kilt, Jason. Rachel looks better in a dress anyways. I'm sure Rachel's glad, however, that you're not wearing any underwear."
"Jason might only be half Scottish, but Rachel, let me re-assure you just in case you were worried about tonight, Jason is full man."
(everyone laughs and looks at Rachel as she blushes)
Chris continued his speech, which ended up being the hit of the wedding. By the end, many of the guests were rolling on the floor laughing (some literally... it was an open bar after all). Not only did the guests give him a standing ovation when he was done, but more guests came up to congratulate him on his hilarious speech than congratulate the bride and groom on getting married!
"What Made The Difference?"
So, you might be asking yourself, if Matt and Chris were both:
- Had no public speaking experience
- Not the funniest people...
...why were their speeches so different? Whe did Matt's speech get yawns while Chris' speech get laughs?
Why was Chris' so much better than Matt's?
Have you ever wondered, that when it comes to public speaking or wedding speeches, why some people have the full attention of the people they are talking to, and why others have the ability to bore people to death, making them wish they were watching paint dry instead?
There is never a middle ground... when it comes to speeches, you are usually wildly entertained or extremely bored.
The difference lies in what each person knows and how he or she makes use of that knowledge. And that is why I am writing to you. I want to give you the knowledge on how to absolutely kill the crowd with your wedding speech, even if you've never spoke in public before or aren't a so-called funny person.
I want to prevent you from being a boring Matt... and ensure you will be a hilarious Chris when you give your wedding speech.
The good news is that this is completely possible, even if you've never spoke in public before, or aren't known as a funny person...
...as long as you follow my 1 very simple and specific tip which I will reveal to you shortly.
If you need a wedding speech ASAP, you've come to the right place.
Before I tell you about this 1 simple tip, the very tip that enabled Chris to absolutey kill the crowd at Jason's wedding, even though he...
...wasn't a so-called funny person...
...left writing it until the last second...
...didn't have any experience giving speeches...
...was nervous as heck...
I want you to imagine these things:
Imagine how good it will feel when your wedding speech goes amazing... when everyone is laughing at your jokes... when you experience a rush that only world famous comedians do when they're getting an arena full of people laughing hysterically at their material... when you're relieved because your speech is now done and you won't have to worry about it anymore... when people come up to you after it and congratulate you on a job well done... when the bride and groom tell you your speech was the highlight of the wedding and that they will never forget it...
These things would feel good, right?
It won't be as hard as you might think.
"So, What's The 1 Tip That Chris Used?"
Needless to say, Chris crushed it. He had the guests, bride and groom absolutely dying. He was able to entertain everyone.
As soon as the speech was over with, Chris felt like a massive weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
So, you might be wondering: if Chris was so nervous, unfunny, unprepared, and didn't have any public speaking experience, how was he able to kill the crowd with his Best Man speech?
Well, it turns out, the fact that Chris was both:
...was the very reason his wedding speech kicked ass.
Well, Chris being unfunny was perfect because no one was expecting him to be funny. Everyone was expecting the typical boring toast they've already all heard a million times before. Chris surprised everybody, caught them off guard, and made them laugh.
So, if you have to give a wedding speech soon and aren't a funny person, you actually have an advantage. I'll explain how in a few seconds.
Along with being unfunny, Chris was also unprepared - why on earth was this a good thing as well?
Well, a few days before the wedding, Chris started panicking about the speech because he hadn't prepared anything. Because of this, he started scouring the internet for...
...ANTHING that could help him come up with a funny wedding speech, ASAP.
He eventually stumbled onto this 1 tip, which is a very simple but powerful comedy formula called THE LIST METHOD.
"What's The LIST METHOD?"
What's the LIST METHOD, the very tip that will enable you to crank out a hilarious wedding speech at wharp speed?
Well, It's a joke technique based off of this simple secret of comedy: don't look for funny things; instead, look for normal things and make them funny.
This is very important if you have to give a wedding speech because:
- you need to write it FAST!!
- you might not be a funny person
- the bride or groom might not be funny
- you might not have anything funny to say
- you might not have any funny stories about the bride or groom
Solely relying on funny material is not a good idea because you might not have any!
Side Note: How do you think late night TV shows such as Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, and Conan O'Brien are able to pump out hilarious monologue jokes every single night? It's not like funny things are happening every day. They are making jokes about unfunny things, usually what's in the news.
That's right - these late night TV shows are using the LIST METHOD.
"Start Making Your List & The Jokes Will Follow!"
So, to begin making jokes using the the list method, you guessed it, you make a list!
You make a list that includes everything you know about the groom...
...everything you know about the bride.
...everything you know about how they met.
...everything you know about their parents, friends, or family.
...and everything about any recent events that are occuring during the wedding.
Items on this list could include "normal" things such as the bride or groom's job, career, nationality, city, car, or hobbies. Is someone's career or city they live in funny by itself?
Of course not.
The list method takes these normally unfunny things and turns them into comedic gold that will have the guests, bride and groom running for the bathroom because they have to pee so bad.
Know this: the longer your list is, the easier and faster it will be to come up with hilarious material for your wedding speech.
Chris was able to use the list method, and I'm going to show you how you can too.
"An Unlimited Source Of Jokes!"
Since every bride and groom has an unlimited amount of unfunny things about them, you will soon realize that using the list method will give you a ton of material for jokes.
A limitless amount of material, in fact.
Just to prove how powerful this method is, the first few jokes that Chris made above were squeezed out of this tiny list: cheap (groom's personality and father of groom's personality), Scottish (groom's nationality), Donald Trump (recent events).
Obviously your list will be much longer, so this gives you an idea of the massive amount of jokes you can come up with a full list!
Keep reading because I will soon show you how you start using the LIST METHOD right now... for FREE!
"Why Listen To Me?"
Well, when I was asked to give a speech at my brother's wedding, I was definitely a boring Matt. I was nervous about doing a speech because I had no idea what I was going to say. I couldn't think of one thing that I thought would get any laughs from the guests.
As I scoured the internet for help, I stumbled upon the LIST METHOD! Finding this out helped me change from a boring Matt into a hilarious Chris, as you can see in the video below, which now has over 7 million views on YouTube.
As you can see in the video above, I am not at all a smooth speaker. Hell, I barely looked up at the guests, and was pretty much just reading off of the sheet. Did this prevent me from getting laughs? Of course not! So, rest assured, even if you aren't a good public speaker, you will still be able to write and deliver a hilarious wedding speech.
"2 Main Realizations"
While going through the wedding speech process, I realized 2 main things:
1. People that go to weddings are giving up a full day out of their busy schedules to be there, not to mention some are travelling from very far distances. The very least you can do is make your speech funny and entertaining, instead of boring them to death with a completely serious wedding toast they've heard a million times before
2. Making a funny speech doesn't have to be as difficult as you probably think. Comedy, just like learning how to ride a bike, learning a new language, or learning how to walk when you were a child, can easily be learned because it uses a very specific formula that has proven to work for hundreds of years. This is the very formula that late night talk shows such as Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, and Conan O'Brien use to pump out monologue jokes night after night
"Here's What I Have For You Today"
Since giving that speech, many people have asked me for tips on how to write a speech for an upcoming wedding. They are like I was two years ago - anxious because they have no idea what to say for their friend or loved one on the big day in front of a big crowd (it's no secret that public speaking is one of the greatest fears people have, even more so than death).
While my initial reaction was laughter (someone is asking me for public speaking tips??), I decided to write a book called Wedding Speech Killer that shows people how to write a funny, entertaining, and memorable wedding speech using the LIST METHOD. I had a friend of mine help me publish my book and I'd like to ship it to you.
"Here's What It Will Do For You"
In Wedding Speech Killer, you will learn:
the list method!
how to crank out a speech quickly (this helps if you don't have much time before the wedding)
the simple 4 part structure your speech should follow
how you can give a great speech, no matter if you're the best man, the maid of honor, in the wedding party, a brother, a sister, a friend, a parent, a cousin, a relative, or someone else
39 proven and time-tested jokes that are guaranteed to get you laughs at any wedding (feel free to rip these- you simply need to insert the bride or groom's name)
the 3 main elements of comedy that you need to know. Once you know these, the concept of humor will click
how you can easily construct a joke
how you can make comedy by painting pictures in people's minds
how you can still make your speech funny if you don't have any funny stories about the bride or groom
if you do have funny stories about the bride or groom, they are sometime hard to make funny via speech; I will show you how
how you can easily come up with a literal endless supply of joke ideas, even if you can't think of one funny thing to say right now
how you can turn normally unfunny things about the bride or groom into comedic gold
what the beginning and end of your speech should include
how you can get laughs, even if you're not a funny person (in fact, not being funny will help you because no one is expecting you to be)
how you can get laughs, even if you've never spoke in public before
how you can get laughs, even if you get nervous very easily
how you can write serious/sincere parts for your speech
how you can bombard your audience with a sequence of multiple jokes in a row
how you can make your writing descriptive, beautiful, and vivid (this just won't make your speech better, but you'll become a better writer in general)
the exact reasons why parts of the speech above got laughs and how you can replicate them for your own speech
how comedy is just as learn-able as riding a bike
how, contrary to popular belief, comedy is just a time-tested and proven formula that can easily be replicated
how you can get rid of all your anxiety and fear within seconds of starting your speech
how you can actually make delivering your speech an enjoyable process, as opposed to something you just want to get it over with
and much, much more
"Remove Any Fear You May Have About Giving a Wedding Speech"
So, if you...
need to come up with a wedding toast ASAP
are anxious about giving a wedding speech
are nervous about giving a wedding speech
want to give a wedding speech for a loved one or good friend, but are hesitant at the moment
have never spoke in public before
can't think of anything funny to say in your speech
can't think of anything to say in your speech, period
aren't a so-called funny person
want the person you are speaking for to have a memorable day
want to ensure the wedding guests have an enjoyable time
want to be a funnier person in general
want to know the simple elements that make comedy work
want to know the simple formula of how jokes are made (this is no different than how jokes are written on late night talk show monologues such as Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon)
... my book is for you.
"Here's What Some Of My Readers Had To Say"
Here's what a few readers of Wedding Speech Killer had to say:
"Don't Pay If It Doesn't Help You"
Before I get to the price of my book, let me remove any hesitation you may have...
If you aren't 100% satisfied with Wedding Speech Killer and don't have the bride, groom, rest of the wedding party and guests all howling at your speech, simply let me know at 905-580-1886 or email@example.com within the next 60 days and you won't pay a cent.
Even if you decide to get a refund, you can still keep the book for free.
I realize this is the internet and you might be skeptical, so I want to remove any hesitation you may have and put all the risk on me. Read it. Get some ideas from it. Steal jokes from it. Write your speech. Give your speech. Have the guests begging you to stop because their stomachs hurt so much from laughing. Have the bride and groom continue to talk about your hilarious wedding toast for years after their wedding!
If you absolutely killed the guests with your wedding speech using my book and are 100% satisfied, great! The cost of my book is only a one time payment of $40. If you're not 100% satisfied, you don't pay. It's as simple as that.
Think about it. $40 might be less than you spend on coffee each week. It might even be less than your monthly phone bill and Netflix subscription. If these things are worth more than $40, how can your wedding speech not be?
"Here's What You Need To Do Now"
I have limited copies ready to go right now. To secure your copy of Wedding Speech Killer, simply click on the "Buy Now" button below. You will then be taken to my ultra-secure Clickbank order page.
After you enter in your ordering information, you will have instant access.
"Let Me Ask You A Few Questions..."
What if you could deliver a speech that has the guests howling? What if you could deliver a speech that the bride and groom will never forget? What if you could remove all anxiety about public speaking?
What would this all be worth to you? $10? $100? $200? More?
To many of you, including myself two years ago, I know that it would be priceless. Take comfort in the fact that not only will my book help you write a hilarious wedding speech, you'll get there without spending hours and hours on it and without forking over a small fortune to a professional writer.
"Take Action Now"
As I'm sure you're aware, just thinking about it never got anybody anywhere. Take action and grab your copy of Wedding Speech Killer right now. The bride, the groom, and the guests will be glad you made this choice!
If you have any questions, don't be hesitant to reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thanks for reading and good luck!
P.S. Click on the button below right now to secure your copy
P.S.S. Remember that you are covered by a 60 day money back guarantee